We Can Fix This
by darkgirl3
Summary: Brian comes home when Justin's packing his stuff to leave hoping to change his mind.


**I Own Nothing **

**AN: I got this idea while watching this episode the first time. It was just too depressing so I fixed it. I only saw it once and I fast forward the 'Ian' moments so hope this is better than what show gave.**

**Title: We Can Fix This**

**Characters: Brian and Justin**

**Summary: Brian comes home when Justin's packing his stuff to leave hoping to change his mind. **

Justin looked around the loft once more ready to walk out. He'd already watched the past play out as if it was in livid color. He felt his heart breaking with every moment he saw. Moments of his life in the last year he got to see over wishing he could make them stop. He was ready to leave, but something kept him there. He went over to the kitchen area knowing there couldn't be anything there. He looked around to make sure though not wanting to have to come back. He found a piece of paper that he had seen every day.

It had everything he was allergic to on it. There was the medication and even the foods. It wasn't just written out either; it was laminated and taped down. The words on the paper were Brian's handwriting. Beside each item was what would happen if he took or ate them. There were words off to the right as well in big letters.

'If anyone gives Justin these I will hunt you down and hurt you severely. I don't care who you are because I will do it; don't think I won't hurt you family or not.'

It caught him off guard and he had seen it every day when he was over there. They cooked together half the time until recently. Lindsay had been shocked when she'd come over and they were cooking once. Brian had a CD going and they'd been goofing off along with singing to the song. The memory played out as the others had and he wished that it could still be like that. He didn't know when things had gone wrong and he'd stopped being able to read Brian. It used to be one of the things he could do so well. He was always onto Brian when he was being a jerk knowing it wasn't real. Now, he didn't know if it was a show or Brian was out right doing it to push him away.

None of it mattered anymore or did it? He wished he could have some kind of cheat code to Brian. Justin backed away from the paper closing his eyes refusing to let the hurt get to him again. He had to get out before Brian got home, but the sound of the loft door opening made him jump. He didn't think Brian would show up this early, but it was him and not another memory playing out.

He couldn't do this with Brian here; he couldn't walk out even if he wanted to. He might could have just said he was going out and come back later for his stuff. However, he'd left his duffel beside the door. He heard Brian complaining about him leaving his shit in the floor like always. He'd been busted, but he'd have to go it hurt to stay after the other night. He'd planned on ending things with Ethan until he'd saw Brian with the guy who'd been Rage. It was like a kick to the gut.

BJ JB BJ JB

"Are you leaving?" Brian asked holding up the duffel bag facing Justin. He didn't move any closer than just outside the kitchen area.

"You never gave me an answer if you cared. You went and fucked Rage, which wasn't an answer, but I guess in your way it was. You don't give a shit about anything." Justin said reaching for the bag, but Brian pulled it back out of his reach.

Brian had thought about it all day. He knew this was coming with Justin walking out on him. He'd given him no reason to stay since he had done everything because he was pissed off. He was pissed that it had felt like hell when he'd found out about the fucking fiddler. Justin had gotten in deep enough that he felt like hell knowing he'd been the sucker this time.

"If I didn't give a fuck about you I wouldn't have let you in. I wouldn't have let you live here for that matter. I wouldn't have followed our rules, which you broke." Brian shouted the last part since it was the truth. "We had an arrangement, which was as close to being partners as we were going get. You are the one that broke them twice now. The first was the damn virgin and now Ian. Everyone said I'd be the one that fucked up and I guess not telling about almost being fired was on me. It was when you went on the vacation instead of us going. I never once cheated or snuck around not coming home." Brian could tell that it hadn't sunk in until now all the things he named that weren't on him, but Justin.

He wanted to know if Justin thought it wasn't cheating if he'd said they weren't like others. He asked him too wanting an answer. The only thing that he had ever wanted was for Justin to be happy. He'd been trying for so long to be good, but he'd fucked up on Justin's birthday. Spring break was his fucking fault too, but he'd planned on making it up to Justin sometime during the summer. He told him that taking a breath looking at Justin, but he wasn't looking back.

"You want to leave or do you want us to fix this?" Brian asked knowing it was a question that didn't have a simple answer. He was trying here because the truth was he did care if Justin left or stayed.

Justin couldn't bring his self to look Brian in the eyes. He could already hear the pain in his voice. How the hell he hadn't seen it he didn't know. He had been putting so much blame on Brian, but it wasn't just Brian that fucked up. The words kept going through his head that Brian had said. 'You cheated' He could easily try and throw something at Brian about him being the reason he did it. It wasn't fair though because Brian had been his usual self, he'd been the one that did exactly what Brian said and cheated. The words coming from Brian finally hit home as if he actually had been doing something wrong.

BJ JB BJ JB

"How can I fix this when I couldn't even see how wrong what I was doing was? I did what you said, Brian. I cheated; I broke our agreement by seeking him out. I fell for the stupid lines because I couldn't see that you loved me anymore. I always could tell even when you denied it, but something changed." Justin confessed finally meeting Brain's gaze. "I just wanted to hear that you cared about me when I couldn't see it. The ski trip was what shattered it after you said we'd go. I thought you meant it this time for real, but you never told me about work." He didn't know why he'd started caring so much if he heard it.

Brian could see it in Justin's eyes that he knew he'd fucked up. There were wrongs they'd both done. He didn't want Justin to leave he'd rearranged a meeting so he could be here before Justin left. He could see how sorry Justin was and he couldn't let him leave not this time no matter how much he'd pushed him away in the past or recently. He needed to grow a pair and say what he felt before he lost it all. He'd drowned his sorrows the night before in an entire bottle of whiskey.

"I don't want you to leave, Justin. We can fix this because it's worth fixing. I'd do anything for you, hell I'd have taken the bat to the head so you didn't have to. I'd give you my right hand if it meant you could draw like you used to. Every time I've tried to let someone in all the way I never got it back. It's why I am the way I am and I don't know how to change it. They always found a way to hurt me so I try to shut them out. It's why I told you that the only person you have is yourself." Brian said not meeting Justin's eyes this time.

His parents hadn't cared about him and abused him one way or another. Debbie and Michael had found ways to let him down too. He always got blamed for things that weren't always his fault. He'd taken the blame though because it meant he had a best friend. Lindsay was on the list too because as much as he said he hadn't wanted to be a big part of Gus' life he did. He wanted to be more than the drop in guy who helped him be born. He wanted one more thing and that was for Justin not to leave. He knew what would happen if he lost him yet again like he had almost done after prom. It had been one of the darkest places he'd ever been and he didn't remember some things that he'd done.

It was more than Justin had ever gotten out of Brian when it came to their feelings. He hadn't said the words, but the words he did say screamed it. He moved from where he had been standing since Brian walked in towards him. He took the duffel bag from Brian's hand tossing it as far as he could towards the bedroom.

"I'm not leaving. I know sorry is bullshit to you, but I am. I love you, Brian. I love you so much it fucking hurts even if I did the worst thing to show it. You have given me a million times over what he's even tried to do. You gave me my art back when I thought I never would have it again. You gave me a reason to try when I wanted to give up." Justin said.

They had so much between them that he'd never have with anyone else. What he needed was right here in front of him with Brian. He'd fought to be with him when he had been told to hide what he really was. He'd done it again when his mom hadn't wanted him to be with Brian. No matter how many times others tried to get him to go away he hadn't. He'd come so close this time to walking away, but the paper had stopped him from leaving. Whatever had made him go over there he was grateful for it. It gave Brian the time to make it here or he'd already have been gone.

"We never talk about him again and you never listen to violin music either." Brian said.

"I promise." Justin said back before closing the last inch between them kissing Brian. He put everything into it and he felt it coming back more than he ever had before.

**The End**

**AN: One day I might add a chapter with make up sex or something, but this is the end if I don't. I hope that they weren't too OOC, but wanted something heartfelt. Thanks in advanced for kudos and reviews. **


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